Childhood Reminisces

I miss certain things about being a little child.

For example, I miss people getting all excited and cheering for me each time I had a proper movement in the bathroom. I wish I could still have a team of cheerleaders for moral support each time I take a shit now. "Push it out, pull it out, waaaaaaay out!"

What I didn't like so much as a child was when my dad went away for a few days and informed me "you're the man of the house now, son". Mom never reacted very well when I told her to get her lazy ass in the kitchen and make me something to eat. She was even less impressed later on when I met her in the bedroom wearing a leopard print smoking jacket and leafing through a Hustler magazine.