Pediatric Critical Care?

When I last crossed the border to visit Buffalo, I was perplexed to notice a ‘Pediatric Critical Care Unit’ vehicle parked outside the local KFC. What the fuck goes on in Buffalo that they need a special emergency Pediatric Unit?

How many foot injuries occur here exactly? Or are Buffalonians just that fucking vain about their feet that they have to have an emergency response team to primarily cater to foot related injuries and crisis's?

“Come in, Unit #1. We have a boil that needs lancing in North Tonawanda. Repeat…we have a boil that needs immediate lancing! Kkkkkkkft…over!”

"Unit #1, this is Foot Control. We have a downed ballet dancer with a cracked toenail and possible pinched pinkie toe...please respond."

Apparently, if the look of exhaustion in the eyes of the Pediatric attendants as they ate their chicken in silence inside their emergency vehicle was anything to go by, it had already been a busy night of blisters and ingrown toenails in downtown Buffalo.

MENTAL NOTE TO SELF: Always wear protective footwear in Buffalo.