Tofu Plankton Meatloaf

Monday, November 01, 2004

What's Eating Terry Nash?

I found a granule of Kitty Litter in my bellybutton this morning. My life is OVER!

“Oh, the shame of it all!”

I have never felt more white trash than I do right at this moment! You know you are not exactly “living the dream” when you begin to find weird foreign objects lodged in the folds of your body fat. Before you know it, the television remote control will turn up wedged in my ass and I’ll have an entire bowl of Ruffles stored under each huge man tit.

Now unless my cat is having an early Easter Egg hunt with his litter, I think it’s time that I go on a diet before I finally turn all ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?’ and they have to bonfire my apartment when I shuffle off this mortal coil.


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