Tofu Plankton Meatloaf

Saturday, October 23, 2004

The Biggest Loser

Remember the future television game show adverts in Arnold Schwartzenegger’s ‘The Running Man’? There was ‘Climb for Dollars’ and ‘Swim with Crocs’; each a violent prediction for the future public’s appetite for competitive bloodlust. The latest Reality television show, ‘The Biggest Loser’, is about as on par with these grim gaming predictions as Tiger Woods at the ‘Sleepy Acres Putt-Putt Golf Course’.

We can now tune in weekly to watch teams of enormous tub-o-lards sweat and cry their way through shedding enough weight in order to be eligible to win a “new body, a new life, and $25,000 in prize money”. We the viewers, can sympathize and get all weepy-eyed over their tearful admissions of lacking self-control and willpower as their fat asses are put through a Diet Boot Camp before a national audience by an over-zealous training coach that would make most military Drill Sergeants cower with fear; and we can chew our grilled cheese sandwiches on the couch as they bitch their way through a forced diet of lettuce and sprouts that would make even the most finicky of rabbits consider becoming carnivorous.

I am extremely nerved at this moment that Steven King’s eerie prophetic visions have come to be. Christ, next I’m going to be running the risk of being run over by a riding lawn mower being driven by the lady who lives next door.

The Biggest Loser? Let me tell you who the biggest loser will really be: YOU AND ME; the average viewing audience member at large! It’s our collective IQ’s that will plummet like the Trade Towers if we continue to allow this kind of Reality television to continually pollute our minds during the weekday hours of 8:00PM and 10:00PM.

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