Underwear Adverts in Brief

I received a Bay catalogue in the mail today. And although I wouldn’t dare get caught shopping in a Bay department store anymore than I would allow myself to get cause at a back alley dogfight, I was still tempted to leaf through the pages of product adverts to see exactly what all the fashionably mindless will be wearing this winter season.

The Bay is currently advertising men’s underpants for only $32.95. WTF? Who spends that much money on underpants? I’d sooner stick my legs through the bottom of an empty MacDonald’s bag and wear it like a diaper before I spend the equivalent of four hours at work on something that will inevitably end up skid-marked in less than a month.

And what’s with the advertisement models? Here are two flawless young males frolicking in their underwear with each other like two eunuchs over a Licorice Whip; both with their perfectly wrinkle-free undershirts tucked into the waistbands of their $32.95 underpants! How the fuck is that selling men’s underwear? Do they think that any right-minded man on this planet is suddenly going to buy a pair of these babies just because they saw them in a catalogue being modeled by two guys that were inevitably the same kind of kids who wore their underpants in the shower after gym class lest prying eyes should ever scope out their stubbley, pre-pubescent gonads?