The Corporate Cubicle Crab
One of the girls on another team at work moved desks this morning. What I’m wondering: is how in the fuck did she ever manage to make such a move at all?
She must have rented an entire U-Haul in order to move all her family photo albums, cat pictures, Tupperware tubs of snacks and candies, spill-proof bottles and coffee mugs, afghans shawls, ‘Cosmo’ magazines, pencil cases, work manuals and binders, decorative calendars, forests of ‘Post-It’ notes, cutesy plush toy mascots and toys, address books, scratch pads, foot rests, cosmetic make-up bags, wrist foamies, and whatever the fuck else it is that she had stored up at that cramped corner cubicle for the past 4 months!
Shit, my grandmother probably had an easier time moving from her home of 83 years into her new Retirement Village.
She probably gave herself a hernia trying to lug all this accumulated crap from one desk to another. It must have looked like a giant hermit crab scuttling down the aisle with an enormous shell mounted up with its complete acquired possessions.
Somebody call David Suzuki! I’d like to introduce the world to this new unique breed of planetary species: The Corporate Cubicle Crab.
She must have rented an entire U-Haul in order to move all her family photo albums, cat pictures, Tupperware tubs of snacks and candies, spill-proof bottles and coffee mugs, afghans shawls, ‘Cosmo’ magazines, pencil cases, work manuals and binders, decorative calendars, forests of ‘Post-It’ notes, cutesy plush toy mascots and toys, address books, scratch pads, foot rests, cosmetic make-up bags, wrist foamies, and whatever the fuck else it is that she had stored up at that cramped corner cubicle for the past 4 months!
Shit, my grandmother probably had an easier time moving from her home of 83 years into her new Retirement Village.
She probably gave herself a hernia trying to lug all this accumulated crap from one desk to another. It must have looked like a giant hermit crab scuttling down the aisle with an enormous shell mounted up with its complete acquired possessions.
Somebody call David Suzuki! I’d like to introduce the world to this new unique breed of planetary species: The Corporate Cubicle Crab.
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
7:22 PM
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