Internet Confessions

Computer message boards are amazing things. What other available medium would give somebody the protected personal anonymity to publicly announce that you like to have your face spanked with five cocks while having a glass dildo in the likeness of Ricardo Montalban inserted up your ass?

Ordinarily, you wouldn’t have the outgoing personal confidence or the audacity to rent the latest edition of “Jerry Springer: Uncensored” from the local video shop, but once logged in online with a whole host of virtual strangers you have no problem openly admitting that you fantasize about having someone whap out the drum solo to Phil Collins ‘In the Air Tonight’ on your face and breasts with their erect penis. WTF?

Where does this sudden “open book” sexuality come from? I spend all day on a computer whether it be at work or at home in my spare time and yet I never feel the need or inclination to make known my deepest, kinkiest fantasies or anything else that I would not ordinarily discuss comfortably about myself around the water cooler or while standing in line at Quizno’s.

Keep it to yourselves. I don’t need to know those kinds of details anymore than you need to know that I like wacking off with fistfuls of mayonnaise to Estelle Getty exercise videos.