Tofu Plankton Meatloaf

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Black Forest Pot Cake

In Lueneburg, Germany, ten schoolteachers were immediately hospitalized after eating a chocolate cake laced with marijuana (02/12/04). The incident was believed to have been a student prank as the cake was reported to have been left in the school’s teacher’s lounge with a note saying: “Thank you for everything – enjoy your meal”. Suspicions were not instantly aroused because the school has a tradition of cake baking by students and their parents for the 65 member teaching staff.

What the fuck? That’s a pretty fucking awesome “tradition” they got going on over there in German schools. Over here in our less-than-enlightened Western world, we call it “Bribery”...but who's quibbling? Man, where do I apply with the German school board? At the very least, how do I find a job where people make and leave me suprise chocolate pot cakes?

The schools headmaster quoted the incident as “relatively dramatic” as teachers complained of dizziness and loss of sensory perception, and one teacher even phoned in from the railway station saying he needed help.

“Relatively Dramatic?” Geez, what a bunch of pantywaists! Most of us regular schleps would kill for a surprise buzz of this magnitude at work to make our humdrum days a little more interesting like something from the Beatles ‘Yellow Submarine’ with floating marshmallow pies and custard dripping from dead dogs eyes and other surreal shit.

What were they so worried about? It was just a chocolate marijuana cake, for Pete’s sake. “Herr Doctor! I’m beginning to feel all mellow and groovy. What’s wrong with me?” Are they concerned that they may start enjoying the Grateful Dead, or develop an unholy fascination with the Teletubbies?

All the teachers were later released from the hospital later that day and were advised to go home, light some candles and Nag Champa incense, make up a box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, and put some ‘Country Joe & the Fish’ on the stereo immediately. And oh yeah, never to eat strange cakes left with anonymous notes in the teachers lounge again.

2 Comments:

  • Greetings Terry,

    I hope you won't object to me simply asking how you posted the photograph/image on your journal. I like the idea of having a small image, like yours but cannot fathom how to achieve it. I downloaded 'hallo' but where to from there I wonder... I have an image in 'My Pictures' I would like to use. If you can help I would appreciate it. If not, enjoy whatever cakes come your way!

    By Blogger Adagio, at 8:11 PM  

  • Sure thing. Just link the URL or the picture from your "My Pictures" file on your Desktop to the "Photgraph" portion in "EDIT YOUR PROFILE" once you log in on your account. But now I expect that you will feel obligated to read every one of my mutha-fuckin' blog entries...and there will be, of course, a test at the end. That's right...A TEST! So read up, girlie.

    By Blogger crazytigerrabbitman, at 5:00 PM  

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