PhD in Crushology

It seems to me that I am developing new romantic crushes every 30 nano-seconds these days. They are beginning to pop up like zits on a Grade 9 High School remedial student. In my mind, I am already betrothed to at least a dozen different oblivious girls.

I’m not sure whether it has been the nice Spring and Summer seasons getting to me or whether it’s just part of the natural vicious cycle of being a pathetic single male. All that I am sure about is the instant reaction in my pecker each time a hint of glorious flesh is revealed in an exposed midriff, low-cut blouse, or from underneath a fashionable mini-skirt.

I feel helpless against these spontaneously generated emotions to the point where I feel I would develop romantic feelings for a Shetland Pony had it paraded past me wearing a revealing halter top and properly accessorized pair of heeled shoes.

Try breaking that news to the family: “Mom…dad. This is Sea Biscuit. We met at the track and we’re in love. We’re going to get married and raise ponies.”