Wristband Faux Pas

I am noticing an odd fashion phenomenon evolving around me. I have already accepted that sun visors have made a triumphant and poignant return to the world of fashion, but WRISTBANDS?!

Suddenly everyone is walking around looking like either Jimmy Conners or ‘Iron’ Mike Sharpe. What the fuck? How did this ever reemerge as an acceptable fashion? Why would anyone ever want to wear fluffy sporting wristbands out in public anyways unless they were also sporting a tennis racket?

Has this trend developed so far as to be making political and personal statements based on the color or fashion in which the wristband is worn? Would people automatically assume I was gay if I wear to accidentally wear my wristband on the wrong wrist or something? The possible fashion conscious questions and consequences are limitless. “Oh my God! Did you see the black striped sports wristband that Terry was wearing today? Who knew that he was a raging left-wing homosexual White Supremist?”

I can’t wait until fashion goes full circle enough that the Neolithic Age will become trendy once more and we’re all wearing animal skins again on an equal fashionable playing field.