Motel 'Sick'
(Written @ La Quinta Hotel; Austin, Texas. Saturday, September 18th; 11:23AM)
There is a certain amount of uniform grossness that is expected to accompany any hotel room anywhere in the world. Most things that you commonly find in any normal hotel room are the same things that you would also find in any science lab petri dish.
It is my belief that hotel rooms are exact carbon copies of each other across the planet. You could rent a room in ‘Yuk Ho Fuk’s Quality Inn’ in Bangklok, Thailand and it would be extremely similar to a room you would rent at ‘Madame Possomtit no-Tell motel’ in Buttfuck, Indiana.
The bed sheets would be made out of the same thinly pressed, hideously-designed synthetic manufactured variety, that have been recently sterilized and remade up into the same bed after the Triple-X Throwdown that inevitably took place in the room the night before. No doubt the same mattress has been used to absorb the bodily fluids and discharges that were spilled. These bed sheets are not designed so much for comfort or warmth as they are intended to act as cum sponges.
To wave a black light over these hotel sheets and see the random multiple old stains and smears prevalent on them would be like viewing an authentic Jackson Pollock painting at a museum.
Similar as well is that pulsating massage showerhead setting in the shower that peppers your balls with those short controlled vicious bursts of water spray, so that it seems like a prize fighter is using your nutsack as a punching bag.
There is a certain amount of uniform grossness that is expected to accompany any hotel room anywhere in the world. Most things that you commonly find in any normal hotel room are the same things that you would also find in any science lab petri dish.
It is my belief that hotel rooms are exact carbon copies of each other across the planet. You could rent a room in ‘Yuk Ho Fuk’s Quality Inn’ in Bangklok, Thailand and it would be extremely similar to a room you would rent at ‘Madame Possomtit no-Tell motel’ in Buttfuck, Indiana.
The bed sheets would be made out of the same thinly pressed, hideously-designed synthetic manufactured variety, that have been recently sterilized and remade up into the same bed after the Triple-X Throwdown that inevitably took place in the room the night before. No doubt the same mattress has been used to absorb the bodily fluids and discharges that were spilled. These bed sheets are not designed so much for comfort or warmth as they are intended to act as cum sponges.
To wave a black light over these hotel sheets and see the random multiple old stains and smears prevalent on them would be like viewing an authentic Jackson Pollock painting at a museum.
Similar as well is that pulsating massage showerhead setting in the shower that peppers your balls with those short controlled vicious bursts of water spray, so that it seems like a prize fighter is using your nutsack as a punching bag.
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
3:30 PM
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