Joseph and His Techni-Color Stream Coat

There is nothing grosser and more disgusting a habit than that of certain men who do not feel that it is their courteous duty as a civilized member of the human race to flush the urinal in the bathroom after they have taken their leak. Hey, the old conservationists adage “if it’s yello, let it mello; if it’s brown, flush it down” DOES NOT apply in public washrooms, Buster!

How disturbing is it to sidle up to the bathroom wall and catch a whiff of steaming ripe man piss left steeping in the porcelain bowl before you. That’s really sick! What are you, some kind of mannerless animal or something? Did you think I was really eager to know what particular hue of yellow your urinary discharges are? That’s some seriously foul sensory overload that I don’t really need in my normal bathroom routine thanks.

Isn’t it common polite bathroom etiquette (along with the “courtesy flush”) not to fill the urinal up to the brim with manky smelling pee and leave it for the poor bastard using the urinal behind you so that they are immediately greeted by a noxious yellow cocktail with the inevitable token wad of gum spat out and laying in the bottom like a cocktail olive. “Mmmmm, and me without any cocktail sticks!”

Men guilty of this disgusting bathroom practice are the same ones who think nothing of pissing in the bathroom sinks between innings at the ballgame and at concert set breaks when the lineup gets a little long. They should be forced to retrieve the wad of gum at the bottom without the use of their hands like they were bobbing for apples at a Halloween Barn Dance.