Cinema for the Single

Single people should not be allowed to go to the cinemas by themselves...particularly on Halloween night.

By the time we have purchased our large buttered popcorn and small diet soft drink and nestled into our aisle seat, our internal 'Ethos Meter' is sounding off like a frightened howler monkey. It suddenly feels like everyone around us is staring mockingly at the single freak sitting by himself in Aisle 7.

We immediately begin to feel all apprehensive that we've chosen to show our emmotional availability in public, and that we are somehow unworthy or unable to share our personal lives with another warm body.

Before you know it, our self sympathies are alive and stirring and we're screaming out "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TAKE ME INSTEAD!" seconds before each gruesome murder scene in a desire to finally end it all right there with our bag of salted empty calories rather than return to the torture that is our normal single lives.

That wears thin on the rest of the cinema goers pretty quick; as does the lonely sobbing in the dark each time the couple in front me hold hands, or puts their arms around one another.