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Thursday, August 19, 2004

Disabled Deadbeats

How come whenever someones bill becomes overdue they suddenly become "disabled"? This has replaced "the check is in the mail" as the new deadbeats swan song for the this millenium. "I'm disabled, my husband is disabled, my children are disabled. Hell, even my dog walks with a limp".

So fucking what! I bet Steven Hawking pays his bills. So you'd better wheel your ass down to the neighborhood employment agency, or to the "Community Job Listings" board at the local YMCA and find yourself a regular source of income or I'm going to disconnect your disabled ass!

Scientific studies now suggest that the most popular excuse phrase in the professional debtor’s handbook is “I’m disabled”, finishing just ahead of “I have a 3 month old baby”.

This excuse has now officially replaced “the check is in the mail” as the new Millennium’s preferred deadbeat swan song.

Other noted popular excuses from history include: "My wife takes care of all our bills", "I never recieved my bill", "But I was told I didn't have to", and "the guards made me do it".

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