'Main Course' Suicide
I have another possible candidate for ‘Fucktard of the Year’.
A Johannesburg man was eaten by lions after running past guard into the Kruger National Park at dusk just as the gates were closing.
Clearly this man wasn’t playing with a full deck in the first place. Who in their right fucking mind runs INTO an African wildlife preserve?
Obviously this guy wanted to be the main course. Hey, if he wants to offer himself up as a moveable feast to the wild beasties of Africa – who are we to deny him? I’m sure the lions appreciated the good sport since they were found picking their teeth with his bones come dawn on the following morning by park officials.
But then again; part of me has to applaud the guy. If and when I decide to end it all, running into an African National Park seems like as good a manly way to die as any other. In fact, it’s a death worthy of respect! It sure beats withering away with a crap bag attached to my side in some hospital bed, doesn’t it?
Personally, I'm even now considering diving headfirst into the killer whale tank at the local Marineland should I ever decide that I just can't take anymore of this freakshow we call life.
A Johannesburg man was eaten by lions after running past guard into the Kruger National Park at dusk just as the gates were closing.
Clearly this man wasn’t playing with a full deck in the first place. Who in their right fucking mind runs INTO an African wildlife preserve?
Obviously this guy wanted to be the main course. Hey, if he wants to offer himself up as a moveable feast to the wild beasties of Africa – who are we to deny him? I’m sure the lions appreciated the good sport since they were found picking their teeth with his bones come dawn on the following morning by park officials.
But then again; part of me has to applaud the guy. If and when I decide to end it all, running into an African National Park seems like as good a manly way to die as any other. In fact, it’s a death worthy of respect! It sure beats withering away with a crap bag attached to my side in some hospital bed, doesn’t it?
Personally, I'm even now considering diving headfirst into the killer whale tank at the local Marineland should I ever decide that I just can't take anymore of this freakshow we call life.
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
4:49 PM
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