Morning Egg McMuffin Meltdown

There is no worse way to begin the day at work by walking unwittingly into a monumental stink in the Men's bathroom left behind by one of your fellow co-workers. And I’m not talking about just any stink – I’m talking about a stink so large it could stop a charging rhino in its tracks!

Men, in contrast to the more discrete women of the world (which I don't understand since they must be used to sitting down in order to relieve themselves more often anyways), have no problem sharing their bodily functions with the world at large. Often, it's a matter even worthy of lengthy discussion among other men. Women just don't share this same sense of accomplishment in regards to their bowel movements where men revel in it as a matter of pride. When a man releases a stench into the environment that large, it's something that he will remember his whole life in order to tell his grandchildren about it someday. And believe me, there was nothing descrete about what I found in the bathroom this morning!

So just in case the ritual morning hits on my bucket bong aren’t enough to fry my brain, I’ll also have to contend with dealing with the additional massive toxic high from inhaling too much of this guys post-MacDonald’s Egg McMuffin Meltdown.

That’s a buzz I surely don’t need to contend with, thank you very much! I’d rather sniff a homeless man’s underpants than walk into another toxic cloud of fecal fumage that bad!

I’m not sure my lungs or remaining brain cells could withstand that kind of shock. Maybe now I'm leaning more towards the more girly tendancy to save these particular kinds of personal activities until I get home, or at least somewhere not so public.