Tom Snooze

Do you know who I’m really getting fucking sick of hearing about - Tom Cruise, and his new fiancé Katie Holmes! Christ, they're on practically EVERY magazine cover, not to mention each and every page inside them as well. Between jumping on couches, and aping for the paparazzi, these two “blissful” moolyaks are just fucking EVERYWHERE!

I suspect that they show up to these events just to playfully hug, make goo-goo eyes, and kissy-kiss for the camera anywhere where there’s either a celebrity gathering, or just some geezer standing with a beaten Polaroid.

Holy shit, trying to calculate out their travel schedule based on the limitless number of celebrity photos of them attending some special soiree or another, you’d need a fucking NASA computer!

I can understand that Tom Cruise is eager to pose for the camera in order to show off his pretty new 26-year-old boff buddy and kick more dirt in Nicole's eye; but dude, enough is fucking enough! Granted I haven't seen 'War of the Worlds' yet, but if you fuck that up for me too, I swear I'll kick your ass all the way to fucking Mars myself!

Personally, they’re grossing me the fuck out with their never-ending saccharine sweet suckiness. It makes me want to piledrive the both of them into the red carpet and then go out and piss on a church of Scientology…just to celebrate.