"One Ticket to Shitsville, Please"

Tell, it looks like there’s one more passenger aboard the runaway train to Shitsville.

That’s right, it would seem that a life once devoted to “training, saying your prayers and eating your vitamins” may just land the great Hulk Hogan on the brink of social disaster, based on a recent emotional interview on the ‘Larry King Live’ show. Yep, if Hogan knows anything best it’s how shitty life can get when your wife divorces you for a 19-year-old.

And all this after the Hulk’s son was recently sentenced to eight months behind bars after pleading no contest to causing a crash critically injuring his friend. So while little Hulk Jr. is off playing ‘new fish’ with three other juvenile offenders, Linda Bollea, 48, is off banging some dude too young to even remember the original Bush administration.

Where to start?

First of all, it has to be said: this 19-year-old kid, Charlie Hill, must have balls the size of planets! Imagine being the guy in high school who managed to bone Hulk Hogan’s wife. That's way cooler than growing a premature mustache. Shit, I bet his classmates have already deified him! They’re probably erecting a statue of the guy in their school concourse as I type.

‘Ol Charlie must be hung like a rogue stallion.

Of course, if I were Charlie I’d be totally paranoid about having the 24-inch pythons hunt me out and squish me out of existence. The last thing I need in life is a former 300 lb ex-professional wrestling champion pissed off at me.

I know if I were Hulk I’d be all kinds of pissed off and looking to lay a Royal Rumble-sized beat down on anyone who dared to defile the sanctity of my marriage.

“Wha’cha gonna do, bruther?”