Cyber Stating
(Originally dated: 07/20/07)
I made my first foray into the mysterious realm of cyber-dating today.
Maybe I did it in response to some sense of impending desperation seeing as how it is only two days past my birthday – which everybody has seemingly managed to forget, yet again, this year.
Whatever, it ended in disaster.
You see, being the dipshit I am, I somehow inadvertently ended up instant messaging the wrong “Jojo” from somebody’s friends list and sent out an innocent invitation to coffee to a - get this - an investigator with the Police forces Pedophile Unit.
DAMN YOU, FACEBOOK!
Just my luck that the first time I attempt to forge a relationship over the Internet it’s with someone who could probably stretch my scrotum over my head in a heartbeat. Being on the Police force, she could probably lay entire worlds of smack down on me the likes of which my body has never experienced.
And despite what some girls may have told you: I need my penis.
But what can I say? I went looking for Mrs. Right and ended up finding Dirty Harry instead. There’s probably an APB out right now for my arrest. All I wanted was in initiate some sort of social interaction with a member of the opposite sex and instead I get profiled as an Internet stalker.
And you think it’s hard to get dates now?!
Try explaining that away at your next Speed Dating.
I made my first foray into the mysterious realm of cyber-dating today.
Maybe I did it in response to some sense of impending desperation seeing as how it is only two days past my birthday – which everybody has seemingly managed to forget, yet again, this year.
Whatever, it ended in disaster.
You see, being the dipshit I am, I somehow inadvertently ended up instant messaging the wrong “Jojo” from somebody’s friends list and sent out an innocent invitation to coffee to a - get this - an investigator with the Police forces Pedophile Unit.
DAMN YOU, FACEBOOK!
Just my luck that the first time I attempt to forge a relationship over the Internet it’s with someone who could probably stretch my scrotum over my head in a heartbeat. Being on the Police force, she could probably lay entire worlds of smack down on me the likes of which my body has never experienced.
And despite what some girls may have told you: I need my penis.
But what can I say? I went looking for Mrs. Right and ended up finding Dirty Harry instead. There’s probably an APB out right now for my arrest. All I wanted was in initiate some sort of social interaction with a member of the opposite sex and instead I get profiled as an Internet stalker.
And you think it’s hard to get dates now?!
Try explaining that away at your next Speed Dating.
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
5:53 PM
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