Boxing Day Fashion Faux Pas

I passed by some dumbass teenager in the mall today wearing a pink fluffy ski hat with dangley pink tassles. Worse yet, on closer inspection, this walking winter nightmare was a dude!

What kind of retard actively decides to put on a flaming-neon pink fluffy hat to the public mall - with bobbles hanging off it no less! On what planet would this ever be considered as cool, or even acceptable?

Someone do entire male gender a service and take this guy out back in the alley and beat the living shit out of him. At the very least, make sure to permanently revoke this pussy’s “Man License”. Let's show this guy the true meaning of "Boxing Day", and literally box the stupid out of him.

I understand you're what, seventeen? I understand that you feel this strong desire to seek out the attention from everyone around you within one single city block. But do you have to dress like such a sissybitch to do it?

I was instantly driven to kick this guy in the Charlie Brown’s and holler:

“Somebody get Showcase on the phone, I found the next fag for your Queer Eye squad. I hope Santa brings you some balls this year, bitch.”