The Yogurt Monologues (Part IV 1/2)

Horror of all horrors!

Far scarier than anything else I’ve seen so far this Halloween season was the oriental man I witnessed shaving his nutsack in the member’s lounge at the gym this evening.

There he was: naked and spread-eagled like most of the other old dudes in the locker room, except with razor in hand and in the process of gingerly pruning his pubic hair from the underside of his balls…and on the leather couch no less!

How fucking gross is that? Talk about taking complete advantage of your Members Plus plan!

It’s bad enough that I have to put up with the significant quota of shriveled old man dick that I do in the locker room as it is, but when somebody feels the need to start carving out pubic hair topiaries in full view of God and everybody in the lounge area to boot – well, that’s just going too damn far!

Now, I already knew that oriental dudes are some pretty sick perverted motherfuckers *. They will do twisted weird shit in public that the rest of us here in the reserved Western World would cringe in complete fear over. Perhaps shaving your balls in a public place is commonplace on streets of Hong Kong, but at the local YMCA – not so much.

I literally stared agape at this public atrocity I had stumbled across on my way to the Steam Room. I was dumbfounded. Unfortunately, I couldn’t tear my eyes away either. At first I thought that somebody had slipped acid into my ‘Grape Nuts’ or something. But quickly I realized what was going on.

Was this guy really trimming the hair on his scrotal sack? And for what purpose exactly? Does anybody ever really notice those types of things? How vane does one have to be before they decide they have to primp and preen their pubic hair?

“Hey, Yoshi. Nice do on your nutsack there.”

The questions flooded my brain like the French Quarter levees.

It was wrong on so many levels.

* Hey - I’ve seen some videos and heard a few things, okay?