Kosher Conundrum
Today, over a ham sandwich, I had a very interesting conversation today with a Jewish work mate who felt the need to educate me on the religious and health ramifications surrounding “kosher” meats.
So I had to ask: what does the Torah have against pigs exactly anyway?
I mean, when I personally think of pigs I tend to think of bacon, spareribs, fall-off-the-bone ham, Wilbur, Ms. Piggy, Piglet, Arnold Ziffel, Porky & Petunia, and lets not forget about Babe, that infamous swine who ran amuck in the city. What’s not to love exactly? Well, I guess there is always that whole “piggies” metaphor for the upcoming class war that Charles Manson had such a hard on about…but I digress. The bottom line where I stand is that pigs are not only cute and endearing animals, but they’re also delicious as fuck.
What’s not to love?
So it confuses me when an entire class of people should entirely refuse to associate themselves with these tender, succulent creatures. So what was it specifically that turned these people against the poor, innocent pigs?
As it was explained to me, any animal that chews their cud and has split hooves will be perfectly acceptable for consumption. However, should the animal miss either of these criteria they are considered to be “unclean” and, therefore, forbidden for consumption. For this reason, the Torah has banned the consumption of camels, pigs, rock badgers, and hares are all deemed forbidden because they lack one of the two qualifying criteria.
Too bad, because everybody knows how tasty camel kebobs can be.
So this basic formula for deciding on whether an animal is fit for eating or not seems to be solely based on cosmetic reasoning. Hey, if God designed cloven hooves for certain animals who are we to say they are suddenly a dietary abomination? Besides, so what if they regurgitate their food or walk on split hooves? It might be different if my honey ham were to suddenly puke up its dinner on my plate but as it is it’s not an issue. Likewise, the fact that pigs can’t fit into a pair of glass slippers is hardly a deterrent either.
Who cares?
They’re dead!
So I had to ask: what does the Torah have against pigs exactly anyway?
I mean, when I personally think of pigs I tend to think of bacon, spareribs, fall-off-the-bone ham, Wilbur, Ms. Piggy, Piglet, Arnold Ziffel, Porky & Petunia, and lets not forget about Babe, that infamous swine who ran amuck in the city. What’s not to love exactly? Well, I guess there is always that whole “piggies” metaphor for the upcoming class war that Charles Manson had such a hard on about…but I digress. The bottom line where I stand is that pigs are not only cute and endearing animals, but they’re also delicious as fuck.
What’s not to love?
So it confuses me when an entire class of people should entirely refuse to associate themselves with these tender, succulent creatures. So what was it specifically that turned these people against the poor, innocent pigs?
As it was explained to me, any animal that chews their cud and has split hooves will be perfectly acceptable for consumption. However, should the animal miss either of these criteria they are considered to be “unclean” and, therefore, forbidden for consumption. For this reason, the Torah has banned the consumption of camels, pigs, rock badgers, and hares are all deemed forbidden because they lack one of the two qualifying criteria.
Too bad, because everybody knows how tasty camel kebobs can be.
So this basic formula for deciding on whether an animal is fit for eating or not seems to be solely based on cosmetic reasoning. Hey, if God designed cloven hooves for certain animals who are we to say they are suddenly a dietary abomination? Besides, so what if they regurgitate their food or walk on split hooves? It might be different if my honey ham were to suddenly puke up its dinner on my plate but as it is it’s not an issue. Likewise, the fact that pigs can’t fit into a pair of glass slippers is hardly a deterrent either.
Who cares?
They’re dead!
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
12:15 PM
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