Tofu Plankton Meatloaf

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Hand Lotion Lowdown

The girl working in the cubicle beside me today must be the designated hand lotion Refilling Station for all the other female co-workers in this entire fucking Call Center!

Every few minutes or so, another poor dry-skinned girl will sidle up and help herself to a fistful of ‘Intensive Care Moisturizing Vaseline’ and then proceed to give herself a thorough rubdownas she departs down the aisle again like a skilled surgeon sterilizing herself before entering the hospital Operating Room.

The thing is, now the entire area around me smells like a Roman Orgy Room! And to make matters worse, constantly witnessing all these hot, available women all lubing themselves up with lotion is making it next to fucking impossible to concentrate on my work at all when all the blood is constantly being redirected from my brain to my enormous erection every few moments!

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