Inconvenience Fees

I am ready to take up arms, and by “arms” I mean a well-feuled flamethrower, against all Provincial or City Banks and National Credit Unions. I am so frustrated at being constantly bent over and royally fucked by my financial institutions that my rectum puckers each time I hear loose change drop on a solid counter surface. I am fed up to the eyebrows with overdue charges, transactions fees, and my favorite of the grand "Financial FuckYou's": “convenience fees”.

In the last four years with my branch of CIBC, I must have spent the equivalent value of Courtney Love’s entire monthly crack bill in convenience fees alone…so what’s so fucking “convenient” about that?

What’s so fucking “convenient” about having a bank whose minimal hours of operation are situated in exactly the same hours as those of my own place of employment so that there’s never a “convenient” window of opportunity to conduct normal banking business without the unnecessary transaction or “convenience” fee’s? So now, I’m left with no other option but to continue using my bank card and incur a king’s random in financial fees along the way! Yeah, that's fucking convenient!

They have me by the short n’ curlies here... FUCK! I’d would consider just keeping my money stashed in my mattress like a old widowed washer woman, but with my back the way it is I wouldn’t be able to sleep comfortably on the cold, hard, flat surface of my bed.

What can you do?