They Call Me "Mr. Nash"

I’ve decided that I don’t like the developing trend of addressing people by their surname. Is it a new trendy thing, a respect thing, a polite thing, or just an annoying thing?

Just recently at work, my managers have begun addressing me continually as “Mr. Nash”. “How are you today, Mr. Nash?” “Have you finished that assignment yet, Mr. Nash?” “Please stop stabbing me in the head with your pencil, Mr. Nash”. Man, it REALLY pisses me off!

More so, it just makes me paranoid. The only people to ever call me by my surname were my Grade Three teacher Mrs. Walker (whom I expect will be waiting for me in Hell with that menacing meter stick and more multiplication tables), and any police officer I may have had the misfortune of dealing with in my sordid past.

I can appreciate the whole respecting of one’s professional conduct in the workplace, but being continually addressed as “Mr. Nash” makes me feel like an old man. Are they also going to start offering to help me cross the work aisles on my breaks too?

My managers, albeit good guys, are young and portray themselves as hip, proactive, and approachable; someone you can feel free to address by their first name while punching shoulders in the cafeteria. So why do they ruin that office camaraderie by addressing me as “Mr. Nash”? To me, that drives a classification stake between us instantly.

Look, unless you’re going to arrest me with something, or scold me for chewing gum in class – CALL ME BY MY GOD GIVEN FIRST NAME FOR FUCK SAKES!