The Devil's Vibrator
Okay, as Swayer the Player has already noted, I've been a real slacker in updating this website lately. It's not that there arn't enough things to bitch about in this 'ol world - it's just that my computer has decided to take a technical sabbatical.
That is to say: it's crapped out big time.
There's people getting busted in Texas bars for being intoxicated for fuck sakes, and here I am fiddling with the connection settings on my idiots box. The Vice President even shot somebody in the face and all I'm worried about are these ridiculous program errors that keep popping up on my screen like digitalized blemishes. There's a Exxon CEO's being rewarded with $400 million retirement packages and I'm struggling with virus software. Just think of all the missed punchlines and bitter slanted viewpoints that are being wasted here - my head is ready to explode. There's no justice anymore I tell you!
I fucking HATE computers!
In this brave new technological world of ours; I am but a mere technical peon. The sum of all my efforts to fix this damnable devil's vibrator so far have been to poke at it with a stick and wait for the obelisk to fall from the sky.
Fixing computers is apparently "soooo easy" according to everybody else. But for me it's like trying to play guitar while wearing a pair of oven mitts. I'm beyond frustrated. Computers are about as cryptic to me as Dennis Miller covering a Democratic Convention after one too many roofies. And they're even less funny.
I have attempted to seek help from other, more knowledgable computer-types, but I need a damn translator just to decipher what they're telling me. If I had Internet access, perhaps I could lgo to www.speakfuckingenglish.com, or something, to figure out what in the hell they're suggesting. But noooooo, here I am fruitlessly pounding away at the keyboard like a halfwit.
So please bear with me, dear readers, your beloved Skeevy Internet Superhero will be back with a vengenance just as soon as I am able. In the meantime, go forth and leave me behind. Seek out horseshit everywhere and ridicule it for the foul, stinky, news excrament it is.
"Rage, rage against the dying of the light!"
Too dramatic?
That is to say: it's crapped out big time.
There's people getting busted in Texas bars for being intoxicated for fuck sakes, and here I am fiddling with the connection settings on my idiots box. The Vice President even shot somebody in the face and all I'm worried about are these ridiculous program errors that keep popping up on my screen like digitalized blemishes. There's a Exxon CEO's being rewarded with $400 million retirement packages and I'm struggling with virus software. Just think of all the missed punchlines and bitter slanted viewpoints that are being wasted here - my head is ready to explode. There's no justice anymore I tell you!
I fucking HATE computers!
In this brave new technological world of ours; I am but a mere technical peon. The sum of all my efforts to fix this damnable devil's vibrator so far have been to poke at it with a stick and wait for the obelisk to fall from the sky.
Fixing computers is apparently "soooo easy" according to everybody else. But for me it's like trying to play guitar while wearing a pair of oven mitts. I'm beyond frustrated. Computers are about as cryptic to me as Dennis Miller covering a Democratic Convention after one too many roofies. And they're even less funny.
I have attempted to seek help from other, more knowledgable computer-types, but I need a damn translator just to decipher what they're telling me. If I had Internet access, perhaps I could lgo to www.speakfuckingenglish.com, or something, to figure out what in the hell they're suggesting. But noooooo, here I am fruitlessly pounding away at the keyboard like a halfwit.
So please bear with me, dear readers, your beloved Skeevy Internet Superhero will be back with a vengenance just as soon as I am able. In the meantime, go forth and leave me behind. Seek out horseshit everywhere and ridicule it for the foul, stinky, news excrament it is.
"Rage, rage against the dying of the light!"
Too dramatic?
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
12:35 PM
1 Comments:
"playing guitar with oven mitts on"...interesting...perhaps your new-found talent.
By
STP, at 12:58 PM
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