Going In With a Bang

Okay, I'm travelling through the winding mountain passes of North Carolina and this news flash comes on the radio, one so freaksihly bizarre that I could hardly believe my ears. Of course, fourteen hours later when I finally arrived home you know I just had to google this motherfucker to see if in fact it were really true.

I was pleased, and even a little more disturbed, to learn that a 44 year old Salvadoran woman was discovered smuggling a military grenade, as well as some marijuana, in a cylindrical container stuffed in her - get this - her vagina!

Holy shit! Now that's what I call a "Boom Box". Ba-dum-bum.

Can you believe that? Now I've known, and know of, some very dutiful girlfriends, but Jesus, stuffing explosives up your hoo-hoo? That's just fucking crazy! The pot I could believe, easily, but thats some other heavy duty ordance she was trying to get past security there. It certainly pushes that "stand by your man" bullshit through the roof, eh?

Here's the really funny part: officials subsequently raised the security level at jails across the country, after spokesman for the La Esperanza prison Alberto Uribe said that the discovery definitely showed that "the inmates are planning something."

Well, gee, do ya really think so, el dipshit? Man, I'm sure glad this guy is on the case.

Lidia Alvarado was visiting two inmates, serving 25 and 30 years. Each had been convicted of rape, robbery and illegal arms possession. Now there's one hell of a gangbang - literally.

Gives you the real warm fuzzies doesn't it?