Superstore Throwdown
You know who should get more “props”? Whoever is responsible for spinning the turntables down at the ‘ol neighborhood Grocery Superstore. Whoever DJ’s that place is totally down with busting grooves and making backbones slide through mad break beats thicker than discounted canned gravy. It’s can’t be easy setting the proper vibe for those who are trying to route out the freshest cantaloupe in the Produce aisle or those struggling to decide which variety of baked bean best compliments their brand of packaged hot dogs.
There are some serious skills being laid down in the many superstore aisles and departments during the day. Certainly it’s by no devine accident that Prince’s ‘Oh, Sheila’ was segued nicely into the A-Team theme just as I was collecting my numbered ticket at the Deli. Now, THAT’S what I want to be listening to as I pick out my sandwich meats!
And howabout the philosophical conundrum's I was forced to confront and ponder upon listening to Pink Floyd's 'Another Brick In the Wall' while attempting to choose a loaf of bread from the Bakery racks. Who am I? What am I doing here? What kind of bread best exemplifies me as an individual? What if I choose the wrong loaf of bread? What if... "All in all you're just another brick in the wall". Before you know it, my brain has undergone a complete and total meltdown and I have instantly become a mere mindless cog in the spokes of life's banality, unquestionably leaping forth into life's figurative meat grinder with my Marble Rye proudly tucked under my arm.
Here is a guy that I want to see the resume for: “Total of three years experience Disc Jockeying weddings, community raves, High School dances, Clothing stores, Department stores, and Bar Mitzvahs. Maintains an up-to-date knowledge and appreciation in the styles of AM formatting and kitschy Hip-Hop dance rhythms. Completed Masters Thesis on the positive effects and coexisting relationships between 80's dance music and Produce. Possesses an understanding of the vast musical requirements for the casual ambiance necessities for the ages 14 through 40, and is able to successfully adapt to ever-changing environments."
There are some serious skills being laid down in the many superstore aisles and departments during the day. Certainly it’s by no devine accident that Prince’s ‘Oh, Sheila’ was segued nicely into the A-Team theme just as I was collecting my numbered ticket at the Deli. Now, THAT’S what I want to be listening to as I pick out my sandwich meats!
And howabout the philosophical conundrum's I was forced to confront and ponder upon listening to Pink Floyd's 'Another Brick In the Wall' while attempting to choose a loaf of bread from the Bakery racks. Who am I? What am I doing here? What kind of bread best exemplifies me as an individual? What if I choose the wrong loaf of bread? What if... "All in all you're just another brick in the wall". Before you know it, my brain has undergone a complete and total meltdown and I have instantly become a mere mindless cog in the spokes of life's banality, unquestionably leaping forth into life's figurative meat grinder with my Marble Rye proudly tucked under my arm.
Here is a guy that I want to see the resume for: “Total of three years experience Disc Jockeying weddings, community raves, High School dances, Clothing stores, Department stores, and Bar Mitzvahs. Maintains an up-to-date knowledge and appreciation in the styles of AM formatting and kitschy Hip-Hop dance rhythms. Completed Masters Thesis on the positive effects and coexisting relationships between 80's dance music and Produce. Possesses an understanding of the vast musical requirements for the casual ambiance necessities for the ages 14 through 40, and is able to successfully adapt to ever-changing environments."
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
7:17 PM
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