Hand Lotion Lowdown (Part 2)

How come on any given day I can see all the female co-workers around me sporting their big bottles of lubes and lotions on their desk counters in front of them…and yet, the moment that I decide to cross that forbidden male line and admit that I actually need to use a moisturizing skin conditioner of some sort to prevent my poor hands from flaking away like a stale croissant, that suddenly there is not a single drop of ylang-ylang enriched anything amongst them, anywhere?

Fuck, just yesterday this place was bubbling over with skin creams, lotions, balms, and tropical vitamin-enriched blends of moisturizers of all varieties! It was a virtual Texas oil field for all the pump action nozzles dispensing aloe vera in geysers of white creamy lotion everywhere! All that was missing was a poor dry and cracked mountaineer shooting up a bubblin’ crude.

Is this some great work place ‘Lotion Drought’ that future generations of employees will sing songs about in memory of these itchy forlorn days of yore?

Or maybe it's just that this particular area I’m working in today is like some weird Bermuda’s Triangle for skin lotion? Phones cease working, the wall clock stops ticking, B-52 bombers disappear off the radar screen…and tubes of hand lotion and moisturizing cream mysteriously vanish without a trace!