Tofu Plankton Meatloaf

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

List-Making For the Materialistic Mind

I like to make lists – and I don’t give a shit who knows it!

I think there may have been some kind of repressed family gene passed down to me that makes it impossible for me to resist the temptation of compiling a list of ANYTHING!

I'm one of those people who make lists of other lists that I will also need to be making in the near future, in order to keep my person from being too disorganized, so to cause my physical body from being too blown away, and thereby breaking from the planet's gravitational field and spinning off uncontrolably into deep space.

Nothing is too trivial or unimportant to list; CD’s, videos, books, groceries, knickknack collections, life goals, things to do, etc. There is nothing that I haven’t at some included on a larger, more complete list. It’s not so much an instinct to inventorize and document all my stuff so much as it is an attempt to show off all the stuff that I actually have on my list!

It’s purely for materialistic pride.

“Look how big my list is – it’s huge! Your list is puny and insignificant, but look how impressive my list of shit is!”

This innate sense for keeping accurately tallied lists must be the result of a subconscious mental inadequacy for having such a lacking of any real substantial penis size.

Well, that, and that I want an accurate record of all my worldly possessions, because when the time comes for me to shuffle off this mortal coil, I will need to keep track of it all – BECAUSE IT’S ALL COMING WITH ME!


  • So this must be your every day blog. I have just started visiting, not realizing you had two active blogs. Love the name! I actually have had a link up to your other blog on my every day blog for some time. Hope you're down with that.

    By Blogger Wandering Coyote, at 3:47 PM  

  • Thank you very kindly. Your Retorte blog had been added to my blog links some days ago and I visit there regularly for culminary inspiration. I am pleased to also make the aquaintance of your other "every day" blog as well.

    By Blogger crazytigerrabbitman, at 8:03 PM  

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