April Fools Day Massacre
Today is the Holy Grail holiday for assholes – April Fools Day. The one day of each year where every retard on the planet on the planet decides he’s suddenly funny.
Even the most cantankerous, humorless, and spiteful sourpuss can dust off his Whoopee Cushion and be an instant comedic god. How did such a noble concept for a nationally recognized holiday go so wrong? From the moment you leave the house you are constantly confronted by unfunny moolyaks who are attempted to yuk it up as if they were Robin Williams on crystal meth.
Only one fucking problem – they’re not.
It’s a good thing we Canadians are not allowed to arm ourselves in public, otherwise I’d be going all ‘Walker: Texas Ranger’ on every dipshit, moron, and rhubarb that should ever make the fatal mistake of pulling out a rubber chicken or ever asking me to pull their finger.
POW!
“Aprils Fools to you, motherfucker!”
Even the most cantankerous, humorless, and spiteful sourpuss can dust off his Whoopee Cushion and be an instant comedic god. How did such a noble concept for a nationally recognized holiday go so wrong? From the moment you leave the house you are constantly confronted by unfunny moolyaks who are attempted to yuk it up as if they were Robin Williams on crystal meth.
Only one fucking problem – they’re not.
It’s a good thing we Canadians are not allowed to arm ourselves in public, otherwise I’d be going all ‘Walker: Texas Ranger’ on every dipshit, moron, and rhubarb that should ever make the fatal mistake of pulling out a rubber chicken or ever asking me to pull their finger.
POW!
“Aprils Fools to you, motherfucker!”
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
8:34 PM
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