The Holy Grail of Shower Curtains

I finally managed to get around to replacing the shower curtain in my bathroom since the dried soapy residue on the insides are beginning to make it look like the walls of a limestone quarry. So, in keeping with a prior established bathroom motif already in effect in my bathroom, it was decided that a “Rubber Ducky”, preferably yellow, shower curtain would be a most appropriately themed accessory. Besides – how hard can it be to find a “Rubber Ducky” motif shower curtain, right?

Wrong!

I found hippos, giraffes, parrots, elephants, horses, cows, tropical fish, whales, sea horses, crabs, puppies, gorillas, butterflies, little piggies, strange vegetables, cars, trains, and even cuts of meat – but no fucking rubber duckies!

Apparently, rubber ducks are the Holy Grail of shower curtain patterns - at least in my neighborhood!

Now I can easier understand some of these other seemingly popular shower curtain motifs if you were, say, a zookeeper, a pirate, a cowboy, a farmer, Jacques Cousteau, Jane Goodall, Charles Mason, a vegan lettuce head, Emerson Fitzpaldi, or a hobo, but who in their right state of fucking mind would ever want to use a cuts of meat shower curtain - Jeffrey Dahmer?

Considering that my naked body may closely resemble the front window at a butchers shop already, I think that showering behind a clear plastic cuts of meat shower curtain would make me feel too nauseous and woozy – like I was in a P.J. Harvey video or something.