"S-P-E-L-L-E-R-S"

I have just added a new personality type to my shit list – a category of dumbasses I like to refer to as “Spellers”.

You know the type of person I’m talking about – those annoying rubes who find it necessary to spell out everything for you no matter how simple or stupid it is. How frustrating are they? For some reason they have this intrinsic need to make sure that everything is being spelled correctly to their satisfaction. No word or detail is too simple or obvious for these morons to automatically assume that I may have the good two cents rattling around upstairs to sound out and spell it correctly for myself.

I don't mean the difficult terminology or trick word pronunciations – but just the simple shit that any Grade Two student would be able to sound out!

“Hi, my name is John Smith. J-O-H-N-S-M-I-T-H.”

And heavens forbid if they should be one of those extremely annoying military disciplined dipshits that also finds it necessary to add an extra word to accentuate the spelled out letter they are giving:

“J as in Juliet, O as in Oscar, H as in Hotel, and N as in Nitwit”.

These guys I’d particularly like to bludgeon with a rubber mallet. I find it insulting that they have already assumed that I don’t have the adequate mental capacity to spell simple things for myself.

“My lexicon runneth over with colorful flowery diction already, thank you very much. So you can F-U-C-K-O-F-F and don’t be such a condescending P as in Pansy, R as in Ratfuck, I as in Imbecile, C as in Cock-knocker, and K as in Karate chop to the throat!”