Gangbanged in Purgatory
I read today somewhere that when you pass into Hell, you will punished for your sins in the next life by having your worst imagined nightmare being lived and relived continuously for you for the rest of time.
Hmmm, that sure gets one to thinking. I bet if I descend into Hell when I shuffle off this mortal coil, Stan will be there waiting for me in purgatory where I will be forced to be spit-roasted by Carrot Top and Michael “Freakshow” Jackson. That’s actually the worst thing that my demented mind could conjure up, so I’m going with this as the plausible penalty for my being an asshole in this lifetime.
That sure brings some gruesome images to mind doesn’t it?
Michael would be there riding me like a rodeo bull while talking dirty to me all the while: “Ooooh yeah, Billie Jean. Take it! Yeah, now say it - tell me ‘I’m the One’, bitch! I’M THE ONE! C’mon there Billie Jean, you’re not my lover – you’re my l'il sex piggy, ain'cha bitch!”
Carrot Top would be at the other end performing torturous prop comedy inbetween penetrating pelvic thrusts. “Hey! Just dial 1-800-C-A-L-L-A-T-T , bitch!”
Talk about a “Scared Straight” program! Christ, I’m going to be the perfect mild mannered alter boy from now on lest I should ever meet my awaiting fate. If it’s already too late, I will just maintain the hope that my death will be swift and final and with no annoying after lives.
Hmmm, that sure gets one to thinking. I bet if I descend into Hell when I shuffle off this mortal coil, Stan will be there waiting for me in purgatory where I will be forced to be spit-roasted by Carrot Top and Michael “Freakshow” Jackson. That’s actually the worst thing that my demented mind could conjure up, so I’m going with this as the plausible penalty for my being an asshole in this lifetime.
That sure brings some gruesome images to mind doesn’t it?
Michael would be there riding me like a rodeo bull while talking dirty to me all the while: “Ooooh yeah, Billie Jean. Take it! Yeah, now say it - tell me ‘I’m the One’, bitch! I’M THE ONE! C’mon there Billie Jean, you’re not my lover – you’re my l'il sex piggy, ain'cha bitch!”
Carrot Top would be at the other end performing torturous prop comedy inbetween penetrating pelvic thrusts. “Hey! Just dial 1-800-C-A-L-L-A-T-T , bitch!”
Talk about a “Scared Straight” program! Christ, I’m going to be the perfect mild mannered alter boy from now on lest I should ever meet my awaiting fate. If it’s already too late, I will just maintain the hope that my death will be swift and final and with no annoying after lives.
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
9:00 PM
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