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Friday, April 01, 2005

Fashionable Flab

What’s with the trend in those fluffy women’s fashion and gossip magazines (those like: In Today, People, Star, etc) to feature incriminating photo spreads of popular celebrities all in their bathing suits while laying on white sandy beaches of some tropical island paradise?

In particular, these rag magazines like to focus on those less-than-flattering shots of Hollywood Stars baring their cellulite and loose folds of flabby ass fat hanging out from their micro-string bikinis that ultimately gives the impression that the material itself is being sucked up into their ass like dark matter into a collapsing star.

Why would anybody ever spend good money to see pictures of Uma Thurman’s flabby ass while she is vacationing in St. Dominique? Why shouldn’t she be scarfing down a few extra Honey Cruller and Ring-Ding’s and holding down a few other extra pounds – she’s on fucking vacation! Why is this so shocking? Christ – just sit on any bench in any public shopping mall and you’ll literally see mountains of blubber pass by you like a pod of whales on a shopping spree.

Now considering that %90 of the North American population is less than physically fit and has a few extra kilos of flab hanging from their lazy sedentary bodies – why should we be so fascinated with the slight bodily short-coming of noted celebrities?

I have the kind of physical body that would make the Venus de Milo double over with laughter, so the last thing I’m interested in is which celebrity may be hiding the odd stretch mark or love handle.

Stupid.

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