R.I.P. George Molchan
Today marks a dark day for carnivores and BBQ-holics everywhere – George Molchan, the spokesman for the Oscar Mayer meat processing factory for more than here decades, died at the ripe age of 82 years old.
He was notorious for traveling from town to town in the company’s “Weinermobile” like some kind of gay superhero, to appear in parades and supermarkets. This same 27-foot-long Weinermobile was parked near his grave at a cemetery in Merrillville, Indiana when he was buried.
Before priests said their final prayers, the 50 mourners sang a chorus of the Oscar Mayer jingle and then blew short blasts on miniature, hot dog-shaped whistles.
WTF? It’s like the bizarro Queer-Eye version of the planned Hunter s. Thompson funeral!
That’s some kind of legacy that this faithful steed of processed deli meats has left behind, huh? It will be with a tear in my eye that I toast this noble mascot over a flame-grilled red-hot tonight. I would also expect that all fast food restaurant banner flags will be lowered to half-mast.
The character of Little Oscar was created in the 1930’s by company founder Oscar Mayer (duh!) in order to help better market it’s products. Molchon played Little Oscar for 36 years.
What I really want to know is how this guy actually died! I bet it wasn’t completely due to “natural causes”.
I DEMAND AN AUTOPSY!
I would think that after 36 years of hocking processed chicken beaks, pig snouts, and horses hooves, that this guys cholesterol count would be through the roof! I bet Little Oscar's arteries were about as clogged as Willie Nelson’s shower drain, and his heart finally just exploded inside his chest after one too many “All Beef Sausages”.
He was notorious for traveling from town to town in the company’s “Weinermobile” like some kind of gay superhero, to appear in parades and supermarkets. This same 27-foot-long Weinermobile was parked near his grave at a cemetery in Merrillville, Indiana when he was buried.
Before priests said their final prayers, the 50 mourners sang a chorus of the Oscar Mayer jingle and then blew short blasts on miniature, hot dog-shaped whistles.
WTF? It’s like the bizarro Queer-Eye version of the planned Hunter s. Thompson funeral!
That’s some kind of legacy that this faithful steed of processed deli meats has left behind, huh? It will be with a tear in my eye that I toast this noble mascot over a flame-grilled red-hot tonight. I would also expect that all fast food restaurant banner flags will be lowered to half-mast.
The character of Little Oscar was created in the 1930’s by company founder Oscar Mayer (duh!) in order to help better market it’s products. Molchon played Little Oscar for 36 years.
What I really want to know is how this guy actually died! I bet it wasn’t completely due to “natural causes”.
I DEMAND AN AUTOPSY!
I would think that after 36 years of hocking processed chicken beaks, pig snouts, and horses hooves, that this guys cholesterol count would be through the roof! I bet Little Oscar's arteries were about as clogged as Willie Nelson’s shower drain, and his heart finally just exploded inside his chest after one too many “All Beef Sausages”.
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
12:15 PM
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