Prehistoric Pussy Pounder
Where I previously have accused the Germans of being of an unromantic breed of evildoer, archeologists apparently decided to go ahead and try to prove me wrong.
An object, 20cm – long, 3cm – wide, has recently been discovered in a German cave. It is said to be around 28,000 years old and has been sculpted out of polished stone. Experts happen to believe that the found object is a prehistoric dildo.
WTF?
You mean there are knowledgeable people with certified advanced learning in Paleodildology or something? They’re shitting me – right? Or did a group of archaeologists just give the phallic polished stone the ‘ol sniff test for remnants of remaining cavewoman cooch? I bet that 28,000 years after pounding some major Jurassic pussy, that masonry massager must have been pretty ripe and easy to distinguish from the other surrounding rocks found at the site. What’s so “expert” about that?
Anyways, researchers are suggesting that its among the oldest of Ye Olde Wang ever discovered. The fact that it’s life-sized says to scientists that it was probably, indeed, used as a sex aid. Well, now we know what Wilma was doing when Fred went out bowling with his buddies from the Loyal Order of Waterbuffalos. She just stayed home and fucked herself stupid before Fred returned home hollering for his dinner.
To me, the fact that this was found in a GERMAN cave only serves to reinforce my belief that the Germans are in fact evil to the core. Even back then, they were fashioning the perfect way to fuck one other over.
One other thing I don’t understand is why did some caveman spend so much time polishing a rock to be comfortably inserted into his wife’s vagina in the first place? Considering that there must have been an abundance of easy-to-insert sticks and animal bones laying around instead, he must have really been an inadequate lover that he would feel so inclined to invest in such intensified labor.
An object, 20cm – long, 3cm – wide, has recently been discovered in a German cave. It is said to be around 28,000 years old and has been sculpted out of polished stone. Experts happen to believe that the found object is a prehistoric dildo.
WTF?
You mean there are knowledgeable people with certified advanced learning in Paleodildology or something? They’re shitting me – right? Or did a group of archaeologists just give the phallic polished stone the ‘ol sniff test for remnants of remaining cavewoman cooch? I bet that 28,000 years after pounding some major Jurassic pussy, that masonry massager must have been pretty ripe and easy to distinguish from the other surrounding rocks found at the site. What’s so “expert” about that?
Anyways, researchers are suggesting that its among the oldest of Ye Olde Wang ever discovered. The fact that it’s life-sized says to scientists that it was probably, indeed, used as a sex aid. Well, now we know what Wilma was doing when Fred went out bowling with his buddies from the Loyal Order of Waterbuffalos. She just stayed home and fucked herself stupid before Fred returned home hollering for his dinner.
To me, the fact that this was found in a GERMAN cave only serves to reinforce my belief that the Germans are in fact evil to the core. Even back then, they were fashioning the perfect way to fuck one other over.
One other thing I don’t understand is why did some caveman spend so much time polishing a rock to be comfortably inserted into his wife’s vagina in the first place? Considering that there must have been an abundance of easy-to-insert sticks and animal bones laying around instead, he must have really been an inadequate lover that he would feel so inclined to invest in such intensified labor.
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
5:50 PM
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