Rebound Reverb
I heard a male friend of mine today advise another man to meditate. It seems that this other male friend of his is experiencing the effects of breaking up with his girlfriend is having a hard time of it.
But, MEDITATING? Jesus-H-Christ! Are we men or sensitive ponytail pansy-types?
I felt like speaking up and saying something. “Dude, don't listen to this girly man! Be a man, goddamn it! She’s cutting your face out of photographs right now, so get angry and get even.”
The best thing you can do is climb back on that horse. It's part the age old mating ritual where the male of the species, after losing his sexual attraction, and faced with the rejection by his long standing female partner, goes on a drinking binge of epic proportions and fucks the first thing he can drag back to the backseat of his car whether it be man or beast – often, a combination of both.
Go ahead – act like an ass! You’re allowed – you’re suffering and in pain. For centuries, men have been committing completely ridiculous stunts of mindless folly all in the name of impressing and attracting the new chosen female of their horny affections. All normal healthy, recently single males suffer through this inevitable humiliation and rise above by funneling beers with strippers and passing out in dumpsters.
“That’s right, SUCK IT UP, DUDE!" Let your damaged, horny freak flag fly.
Give the next girl in your life what they are really looking for: drink to excess and excuse yourself to vomit in the back alley, bore her with endless legends of your male magnificence, make farty noises with your armpits, openly bark at passing women, loudly burp out the alphabet over dessert, use “you know, whatever" a LOT in conversation, and surprise her outside her bedroom window by cranking AC/DC's "Big Balls" at 4:30 in the morning from the eight track deck in your father’s pickup.
You know – romance her.
But, MEDITATING? Jesus-H-Christ! Are we men or sensitive ponytail pansy-types?
I felt like speaking up and saying something. “Dude, don't listen to this girly man! Be a man, goddamn it! She’s cutting your face out of photographs right now, so get angry and get even.”
The best thing you can do is climb back on that horse. It's part the age old mating ritual where the male of the species, after losing his sexual attraction, and faced with the rejection by his long standing female partner, goes on a drinking binge of epic proportions and fucks the first thing he can drag back to the backseat of his car whether it be man or beast – often, a combination of both.
Go ahead – act like an ass! You’re allowed – you’re suffering and in pain. For centuries, men have been committing completely ridiculous stunts of mindless folly all in the name of impressing and attracting the new chosen female of their horny affections. All normal healthy, recently single males suffer through this inevitable humiliation and rise above by funneling beers with strippers and passing out in dumpsters.
“That’s right, SUCK IT UP, DUDE!" Let your damaged, horny freak flag fly.
Give the next girl in your life what they are really looking for: drink to excess and excuse yourself to vomit in the back alley, bore her with endless legends of your male magnificence, make farty noises with your armpits, openly bark at passing women, loudly burp out the alphabet over dessert, use “you know, whatever" a LOT in conversation, and surprise her outside her bedroom window by cranking AC/DC's "Big Balls" at 4:30 in the morning from the eight track deck in your father’s pickup.
You know – romance her.
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
5:11 PM
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