Fiber Fibber
Put down your bran muffins everybody...
Recent research has now cast doubt on whether or not a high fiber diet, including fiber-rich vegetables, fruits, and whole grains actually reduces a person's chances of getting colorectal cancer.
Dietary fiber has long been hypothesized to reduce the risk of colorectal cancer. This research team however, led by the Harvard School of Public Health, combined and reanalyzed data from 13 previous studies involving 725,628 adults and found that a person who ate 30 or more grams of fiber each day, the equivalent of more than seven servings of oatmeal, had about the same risk of getting colorectal cancer as a person who ate less than half that amount. The results were adjusted to take into account other risk factors, such as red meat consumption and age.
Huh? Wait, you mean I’ve been shitting entire cornfields for the past two decades because I thought I was beating cancer?
FUCK! I demand somebody’s head on a platter! I feel duped. I suppose all this is just God’s way of retaliating for us having discovered that wacking off decreases your chances of getting prostrate cancer. Just fucking terrific!
I mean honestly – who really likes high fiber diets anyways? I need more diuretics like I need a fucking hole in the head. To think how many dollars I’ve wasted on those bran muffins from the cafeteria vending machine and the most good I was doing myself was in dislodging turds the size of pork loins from my bowels...and don't even get me started on all the low back pain I experience from the extra maintenance I have to peform periodically in the bathroom as a result!
Recent research has now cast doubt on whether or not a high fiber diet, including fiber-rich vegetables, fruits, and whole grains actually reduces a person's chances of getting colorectal cancer.
Dietary fiber has long been hypothesized to reduce the risk of colorectal cancer. This research team however, led by the Harvard School of Public Health, combined and reanalyzed data from 13 previous studies involving 725,628 adults and found that a person who ate 30 or more grams of fiber each day, the equivalent of more than seven servings of oatmeal, had about the same risk of getting colorectal cancer as a person who ate less than half that amount. The results were adjusted to take into account other risk factors, such as red meat consumption and age.
Huh? Wait, you mean I’ve been shitting entire cornfields for the past two decades because I thought I was beating cancer?
FUCK! I demand somebody’s head on a platter! I feel duped. I suppose all this is just God’s way of retaliating for us having discovered that wacking off decreases your chances of getting prostrate cancer. Just fucking terrific!
I mean honestly – who really likes high fiber diets anyways? I need more diuretics like I need a fucking hole in the head. To think how many dollars I’ve wasted on those bran muffins from the cafeteria vending machine and the most good I was doing myself was in dislodging turds the size of pork loins from my bowels...and don't even get me started on all the low back pain I experience from the extra maintenance I have to peform periodically in the bathroom as a result!
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
5:25 PM
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