Hillbilly Weddun (Reprise)
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were married over a month ago and the celebrity rumor mill is still buzzing like a hive of angry bees. Well, more correctly, they're no longer buzzing any longer so much as I’m just now getting hip to this particular current Hollywood event.
I know, I know – I must live in a bubble. What can I say? I have purposely ignored the last three or four Star magazine covers while checking out at the supermarket and therefore I find that I’m entirely out of the loop.
One such unsubstantiated juicy rumor had it that Demi didn’t actually want Ashton’s family present at their nuptial ceremony because she feared that they might not exactly be “sophisticated” enough.
Now pardon-fucking-me for asking in the first place, but for the wedding of a 43-year-old cougar (making her 15 years Kutcher’s senior) and one of the jack-morons from ’Dude, Where’s My Car?’ – wouldn’t Ashton’s family have perhaps the perfect level of “sophistication” to attend a wedding of this caliber?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I bet the Kutcher family trailer looks right in place at Demi’s L.A. mansion driveway. And I’m equally sure that it was a lot of fun for everybody involved too, what with all the Kutcher’s painting themselves up and dancing around an open fire at the reception before cooking up varmints for the big weddun’ feast.
What else can you say? I doubt highly that someone with children named Rumor Glenn, Scout LaRue, and Tallulah Belle has any just cause to be picky about anyone else's social trappings. Shit, her kids sound the roll call of red-necked freaks working for any traveling carnival. And either of these three kids wouldn't have enough sophistication to rip even Jeff Foxwothy's ticket at the ‘Tilt-o-Whirl’!
Likewise, people who have previously banged Emilio Estevez should not throw stones in glass houses.
I know, I know – I must live in a bubble. What can I say? I have purposely ignored the last three or four Star magazine covers while checking out at the supermarket and therefore I find that I’m entirely out of the loop.
One such unsubstantiated juicy rumor had it that Demi didn’t actually want Ashton’s family present at their nuptial ceremony because she feared that they might not exactly be “sophisticated” enough.
Now pardon-fucking-me for asking in the first place, but for the wedding of a 43-year-old cougar (making her 15 years Kutcher’s senior) and one of the jack-morons from ’Dude, Where’s My Car?’ – wouldn’t Ashton’s family have perhaps the perfect level of “sophistication” to attend a wedding of this caliber?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I bet the Kutcher family trailer looks right in place at Demi’s L.A. mansion driveway. And I’m equally sure that it was a lot of fun for everybody involved too, what with all the Kutcher’s painting themselves up and dancing around an open fire at the reception before cooking up varmints for the big weddun’ feast.
What else can you say? I doubt highly that someone with children named Rumor Glenn, Scout LaRue, and Tallulah Belle has any just cause to be picky about anyone else's social trappings. Shit, her kids sound the roll call of red-necked freaks working for any traveling carnival. And either of these three kids wouldn't have enough sophistication to rip even Jeff Foxwothy's ticket at the ‘Tilt-o-Whirl’!
Likewise, people who have previously banged Emilio Estevez should not throw stones in glass houses.
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
5:51 PM
1 Comments:
HAR! That was great.
I don't give a fart in a windstorm about Demi Moore, but you made her interesting for that tantalizing, brief moment.
Thank you for that.
- M
By
Marcheline, at 8:14 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home