Snowboarding Snowjob
I have a friend who has recently expressed an interest in snowboarding.
While I am excited that she is interested in expanding her interests and support her trying new experiences, I am regretful to inform her that this is an interest that I don’t feel I will ever be able to share with her. From past experience, I have learned that my particular body type is more aerodynamically designed for bouncing and rolling down mountainsides out of control than it is to rocket down them at the speed of light. Besides, I don’t exactly have a body that would ever appear flattering dressed in tight flashy ski pants.
My idea of winter sporting is more on par with sitting in a hot tub at some mountaintop Chalet and sipping a highball until I pass out in a delirious stupor - call it “Extreme Hot-tubbing” if you will. Apart from that, my idea of winter activity is to curl up on the couch with a heating blanket and watching M*A*S*H reruns until my eyeballs explode in their sockets.
I’m not much of a thrill seeker I’m afraid. Life moves fast enough for me as it is that I don’t feel the need to throw myself off the tops of mountains with only yard sticks strapped to my feet. If I ever needed to experience that kind of thrill in my life, I would simply pay somebody to shoot me between the eyes and just be over and done with it.
Why place innocent trees in harms way by risking having my stupid ass slamming into them at 200km/hr?
While I am excited that she is interested in expanding her interests and support her trying new experiences, I am regretful to inform her that this is an interest that I don’t feel I will ever be able to share with her. From past experience, I have learned that my particular body type is more aerodynamically designed for bouncing and rolling down mountainsides out of control than it is to rocket down them at the speed of light. Besides, I don’t exactly have a body that would ever appear flattering dressed in tight flashy ski pants.
My idea of winter sporting is more on par with sitting in a hot tub at some mountaintop Chalet and sipping a highball until I pass out in a delirious stupor - call it “Extreme Hot-tubbing” if you will. Apart from that, my idea of winter activity is to curl up on the couch with a heating blanket and watching M*A*S*H reruns until my eyeballs explode in their sockets.
I’m not much of a thrill seeker I’m afraid. Life moves fast enough for me as it is that I don’t feel the need to throw myself off the tops of mountains with only yard sticks strapped to my feet. If I ever needed to experience that kind of thrill in my life, I would simply pay somebody to shoot me between the eyes and just be over and done with it.
Why place innocent trees in harms way by risking having my stupid ass slamming into them at 200km/hr?
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
3:23 PM
3 Comments:
Poor, innocent trees indeed...but it'd make for a good laugh.
By
STP, at 9:33 AM
I never saw the draw myself. I came from a ski resort town in BC and never a winter went by without someone killing themselves on the slopes - asphyxiating themselves in tree wells and similar. I don't get it.
They had well-tanned faces, though. The ones that lived, that is.
By
Wandering Coyote, at 8:16 PM
Extreme Hot Tubbing - that rocks. You should work that concept :-)
BB
By
Rebecca, at 6:33 PM
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