Maximum Overdrive
What’s the deal with those motorized carts nowadays? Does everybody have one but me?
I remember when those things used to be exclusively for the elderly, the disabled, and golfers.
Now it seems that just about everybody and their brother owns and rides around on these over-sized scooters. They’re simply everywhere - on the sidewalks, in the streets, in the malls, in the store aisles – fucking everywhere!
It’s bad enough I have to deal with regular traffic on the roadways, but now I have to be mindful not to be rundown by some lazy dipshit in a Rascal as well. In fact, the next time someone honks as me in a public building to move because they can’t motor past me in the aisle, I’m going to go ballistic and rain down a wrath of destruction of which the world hasn’t witnessed since Biblical times. Heavens-fucking-forbid should my blissfully checking out the nutritional value on a box of salt-free crackers impede on your fast-paced world.
Since when were cripples and old people ever in a hurry to get anywhere? Where do they have to get to so quickly? They're practically dead, or near death, anyway - what's the big rush?
Chances are, if they can no longer maintain a valid driver's license, anyway, they're not going to fare much better behind the wheel of one of these carts either. But these motorized carts aren’t just for the aged and handicapped anymore. Nooooo! Now you see all types of idiots from all walks of life riding around on the damn things too - old people, not-so-old-people, fat people, not-so-fat people, perfectly fine but still stupid looking people, as well as any ‘ol retard in a sweatsuit too lazy to drag themselves off their damn ass!
The only people who should be driving around in motorized carts are authentic card-carrying senior citizens*, handicapped persons, and Shriners.
Everybody else should be forced to walk, hobble, limp, shuffle, or crawl to their destinations if they don’t already have themselves a car, or some other recognized vehicular mode of public transport available.
* And I mean old enough to remember friggin’ dinosaurs!
I remember when those things used to be exclusively for the elderly, the disabled, and golfers.
Now it seems that just about everybody and their brother owns and rides around on these over-sized scooters. They’re simply everywhere - on the sidewalks, in the streets, in the malls, in the store aisles – fucking everywhere!
It’s bad enough I have to deal with regular traffic on the roadways, but now I have to be mindful not to be rundown by some lazy dipshit in a Rascal as well. In fact, the next time someone honks as me in a public building to move because they can’t motor past me in the aisle, I’m going to go ballistic and rain down a wrath of destruction of which the world hasn’t witnessed since Biblical times. Heavens-fucking-forbid should my blissfully checking out the nutritional value on a box of salt-free crackers impede on your fast-paced world.
Since when were cripples and old people ever in a hurry to get anywhere? Where do they have to get to so quickly? They're practically dead, or near death, anyway - what's the big rush?
Chances are, if they can no longer maintain a valid driver's license, anyway, they're not going to fare much better behind the wheel of one of these carts either. But these motorized carts aren’t just for the aged and handicapped anymore. Nooooo! Now you see all types of idiots from all walks of life riding around on the damn things too - old people, not-so-old-people, fat people, not-so-fat people, perfectly fine but still stupid looking people, as well as any ‘ol retard in a sweatsuit too lazy to drag themselves off their damn ass!
The only people who should be driving around in motorized carts are authentic card-carrying senior citizens*, handicapped persons, and Shriners.
Everybody else should be forced to walk, hobble, limp, shuffle, or crawl to their destinations if they don’t already have themselves a car, or some other recognized vehicular mode of public transport available.
* And I mean old enough to remember friggin’ dinosaurs!
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
5:45 PM
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