Mint Whore (Reprise)

You know, on second thought, why shouldn’t I have eaten that damn mint?

Swayer offers a very plausible defense in that if she really had wanted that mint, why didn't she stick around at the table for an extra minute or so before disappearing to the bathroom to gussy up?

Who could blame me for submitting to man’s most primal instinct to feed? She should consider herself lucky I didn’t club her during dinner to get at her leftover croutons! Believe me, the “healthy” garden salad and barley risotto she ordered for me wasn’t fit to feed a grasshopper. And then there was the whole not wanting dessert because she was getting “chilly” and wanted to go.

I passed up dessert, for Pete’s sake! ME! Passed up dessert! That extra chocolate mint was like waving a bowl of chocolate trifle under a starving child’s nose and then expecting them not to help themselves. Leaving that mint vulnerable at the table as she did, I had assumed, was an open invitation to indulge myself. Besides, if she was so fucking health conscious in the first place, why would she even want it?! That's a wee bit hypocritical, isn't it?

So what does it matter that I ate it? Fuck it. I ate it, it was delicious, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat!