Nipping "Jogger's Nipple" In the Bud

I woke up today with a most peculiar ailment.

Now, I’m used to the aches and pains associated with living out an active lifestyle – particularly now that I’ve begun training in earnest for triathlons – but what I woke up to this morning transcends any level of comfort I had for enduring any sporting injury. You see, I woke up this morning with throbbing achy nipples. And I’m not talking about any slight discomfort here; I’m talking about a nagging pain as if I had spent the entire night breastfeeding a litter of baby badgers.

WTF?!

As it turns out, after a little investigation on the Internet I learned that I am in fact suffering from an acute case of what has become known as “jogger’s nipple”.

Oh goodie.

If having to take special care of the plantar fasciitis in my feet and the bursitis in my wrist – not to mention the developing arthritis in my elbow – is not enough, now I also have to worry about icing my man tits too?

I’m just not prepared to deal with this jogger’s nipple or any other nipple-related injuries for that matter! I think it’s time I rethink this whole healthy living thing!

After all, the remedies – albeit easy enough – just don’t sound too enticing either. Most informational sporting injury sites I visited simply suggested the wearing of and-aids on my nipples when I go for a run.

Pardon? That doesn't sound very masculine does it?

If I remember correctly that didn’t turn out too well for Janet Jackson either did it?

Shit, if I have to start putting band-aids on my nips I may as well just go full hog and get myself a pacifier and take to wearing sparkly leotards and face paint while I’m at it.

Sheesh!