Apple Martin?

I have just been informed that Gwenyth Paltrow and Chris Martin named their first child ‘Apple’? What kind of fucking name is that?

I'm sure Dweezle and Moon Unit Zappa are thrilled though since they've only been waiting 30 years for the opportunity to harass someone else about their silly birth names. I can only imagine what the future names of Apple's brothers and sisters may be: Lynux, Windows98, and Rutabaga Martin.

But who am I to jest? If I was born into wealth such as that generated by these two super-parents, my mom and dad could have named me 'Horses Ass' and I wouldn't have given two shits what anybody else thought at all.