Pet Transference

It is sad that I'm living vicariously through my pet cat. The more I am unable to follow my doctor-prescribed regimented diet, the more Miso is going to excel on his similar health program assigned by his veterinarian. If I can't do it, I'm sure as fuck making sure he's going to! Every pound I gain, is one more pound that Miso looses.

I can't help the fact that I need to deal with my own personal insecurities by willing those same inadequacies upon my own beloved pet. In essence, I'm transferring all my denial and lack of self esteem onto an oblivious, unsuspecting furball who licks plastic bags for kicks.

At the current rate of fast food consumption I am experiencing, Miso is proportionately becoming uber-healthy in comparison and will no doubt outlive me. I can see the newspaper headlines now: "Mr. Terry Nash was found dead face down in his bowl of Coco-puffs from a massive heart attack derived from unhealthy lifestyle decisions. Mr. Nash is survived by his healthy, fit house cat, Miso."