"Hey, how ya doin?"

You know who really piss me off? Those people who constantly ask me how I am doing throughout the day. I'd really like to smack them square in the face with a coal shovel.

"Hey, how are ya?", "Hi again, how ya doin?", "Yo, what's up?", "Eh, anything new?". My God, why all the constant pressure? What is it about me in particular that is so interesting that you feel the need to inquire about my well-being regularly throughout the day? I don't mind being asked once upon our first initial greeting, that's only civilized and polite among higher functioning primates. But every 20 fucking minutes? What could possibly have happened to me in the last 20 minutes since they last asked how I was? "I had a piss, I scratched my ass, thought about what I might like to have for lunch. Whats it to ya, fuckstick?"

Maybe I am just a bitter and jaded individual whose soul is blacker than the starting line of the Olympic Men's 100m Sprint final, but I don't want to continually feel obligated to keep everyone posted on my current mental state of mind. I am a self-contained, efficient organism who doesn't need the constant monitoring from some other annoying and intrusive Penis Maximus.