Fuming Over Office Cleanliness

The girl sitting beside me today has an entire collection of sanitizers, disinfectants, lotions, balms, medicated cleansers, skin conditioners, salves and scented ointments lined up on her desk. Christ O’Mighty, is she working as a ‘Customer Service Representative’ or an industrial-strength Dermatologist?

By the time she had finished scouring and sanitizing her work area and ritually sterilized her hands, the entire aisle smelled like an Estee’ Lauder showroom. With all the medicated fumes she released into the air around us, I think she just widened the hole in the earth’s Ozone layer by a few thousand miles. My eyes are stinging like a Proctor & Gamble laboratory test bunny!

Fuck, wouldn’t it just be more prudent and easier to simply douse your work desk with kerosene and light a match? THAT’LL sanitize any leftover lingering germs and bacteria for sure…and be much easier on my sensitive sinuses in the process!